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My heart caught in my ribs.

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Oh, I said, without explaining. It's not out of our reach. It's our destiny. He seemed to accept this. We were both drunk. For a long time, living on West 11th was my dream—and while its power over me came from Grace Paley having lived there, the brick buildings were low, so there was beautiful light, and from Fifth Avenue to the Hudson Highway, these beautiful rooms full of books and art suggested lives that mesmerized me as I walked by.

One of my very favorite writers once did me the compliment of naming someone in one of her stories, published in the New Yorker , after me—and giving him a home on West 11th.

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The closest I will ever get to this dream. I think it was this moment that pierced me, but there were many, really. He was that sort of dangerous beauty with a knack for knowing just what I dreamed about. In retrospect I should have guessed: He reminded me of a friend from college who had studied Chinese and Korean, practiced Chinese calligraphy, trained in tae kwon do, and dated Korean women almost exclusively.

A friend who'd once said to me, I'm half-Korean, too. Just, inside. On one of our first dates, he came over to my apartment and told me about the books I'd just been given by my grandfather, the jokbo for our family.

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I'm the oldest male in my generation, the 42nd, and by Korean tradition, we are given them. The books are kept in an antiquated Chinese script, and I am unable to read them, but he could read them.

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It was the sort of thing that shamed me regularly for the sort of upbringing I'd had—my father had committed us to assimilation and had not wanted us to speak Korean. He had died when I was young, though, and the language gap left us estranged from his family afterward. In , we were putting these connections back together—I had just gone to Korea with my family that summer, and my grandfather had given me these books. But there was still so much no one had ever taught me.

Lisbon recommended by Gian Luca from Viaggia e Scopri. As the capital city of Portugal, Lisbon is full of culture and nice spots to see and visit. The nightlife in Bairro Alto is really fun, and there are several gay-friendly pubs, discos and a sauna. But Lisbon gay life is not only limited to the city centre.

Extended along the southern coast is the Costa da Caparica, a stunning place to enjoy the sea, with beautiful, long beaches and areas equipped for tourists. This region is served by a slow train that starts from Lisbon and travels along the coast. Beach 19 is a well-known gay beach and a great place to meet new people and have fun.

Last but not least, the Portuguese people are very open-minded and LGBT people are free to be themselves. Lisbon Pride takes place every June. During our current world trip, we fell in love with Japan and especially with Tokyo. Japanese people are the kindest and most polite people we have ever met.

Therefore, public displays of affection PDAs and topics like sex and sexuality are things Japanese do not talk about, though gender norms are more fluid in Japan than elsewhere in the world. Especially while drinking, Japanese people open up about these things and that might be the reason that Tokyo has more gay bars than London!

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And in between all the gay bars we found the perfect place for us: Tokyo Pride takes place every May. Hostels in Tokyo Cheap flights to Tokyo. DC also has great neighborhoods like the trendy Shaw district or Logan Circle, with an upscale and elegant feel, including chic boutiques and wine bars. Or head to Columbia Heights to experience a strong Latino and hipster crowd with a mix of ethnic restaurants and cool taverns. Hostels in Washington Cheap flights to Washington.

Bangkok is an Asian megacity, bursting with energy and colour. Often overlooked by visitors eager to reach the glorious beaches of Southern Thailand, this capital city has life pulsating from its core. The traditional backpacker area is centred around Koh San Road but the real heart of authentic Bangkok beats from Silom. Bangkok is frantic yet spiritual; a place where you feel alive from the moment you arrive.

Hostels in Bangkok Cheap flights to Bangkok. And if so, let us know what makes them so great in the comments below. Thanks for including Auckland! Hi Debbie!

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I already traveled to Russia and I met a lot ff gays, main in Moscow, but the destination itself is really dangerous for gays. Please, double check your reviews. Hi Leandro — thanks for reaching out to us. We want to be as inclusive of all the bloggers contributions as possible but clearly flagging the issues with some countries is not enough and we would never want to risk anyone missing these alerts. Rio de Janeiro is not gay friendly at all. The saunas are terrible. The nightclubs are great though.

Hi Rafael — thanks for reaching out to us. We wanted to be as inclusive of all the bloggers contributions as possible but clearly flagging the issues with some countries is not enough and we would never want to risk anyone missing these alerts. Missing the point of LGBT friendly. Hi Kieran — thanks for reaching out to us. Hi Dyaln — thanks for reaching out to us. Indonesia is a hugely homophobic country. Hi Gemma — thanks for reaching out to us.

Oh no! How could one miss out Beijing? And how is Bangkok missed out when it comes to friendliness. And San Francisco?

Are you kidding? Hi Aaron — thanks for reaching out to us. Hi Dyannah! Hi Andrew — thanks for your recommendation. Everyone keeps on recommending Sense8 to me — I really have to watch it! I was there only 2 nites, so I had to be selective in the ones I had sex with. Similar reaction in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, where I spent a month.

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There were also messages from Malay and Indian men, the other Malaysian ethnic groups. It was my first experience, other than trips to bathhouses 40 years earlier, where the amount of sex I could have was limited only by logistics. I had all I wanted and then some. This in a Muslim country where homosexuality is illegal. I ended up with 4 Chinese boyfriends, meaning men aged 30—60 who wanted sex with me more than once and with whom I am still in touch.

I also have 2 Chinese BFs back home in Boston. Are Chinese men attracted to me? I suspect white chubby dads are a novelty in Asia, so I am valued beyond what white American gay men would consider my intrinsic worth.

Am I attracted to Chinese men? Enough to prefer sex with them, compared to an empty bed, though I like beds that contain men of any race. Will I continue to exploit this novel intersection of supply and demand?